so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
