Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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