I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
