Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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