spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
