what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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