Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
