i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
