he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
