I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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