the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
