im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
