FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
