brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
this boner is exhausting
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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