Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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