PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
