Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize