he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
