Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize