Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize