after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
