You can't motorboat a personality
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
