I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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