Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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