She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
