I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
