CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
