On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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