I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize