I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Barsexuality is the new black.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
