Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
