Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
