I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
