Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
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