Just mADE A PArabola og urine
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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