last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
