:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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