I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
