side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize