so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
