thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
