It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize