How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize