sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
