Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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