Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize