We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
