I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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