So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
