I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize