Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i think i have herpe
just one?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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