shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
