Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize