i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
