At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
