he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Randomize
