lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
