11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
