You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
