Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
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