I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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