there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
