literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
