Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I want to have your abortion
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
