he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Randomize
