I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
